Sometimes in the car, I open the window and close my eyes. I pretend the air rushing is me falling.

There is a girl that I see every day. I don't know her name. Indeed, I have never spoken to her, except for conversations played out in my head. She takes the same bus as me. She is beautiful. She has wavy auburn hair and blue eyes. China doll complexion. Tiny pink lips. About 5'4 maybe 115 pounds. She must ride the bus much further than me, for she is always on it already when I climb aboard, and she always stays on it after I leave.

Her eyes are electric. They see everything. I know this girl can do magic. I feel if she looked at me for very long, she could find out everything about me.

She is smart. She usually has heavy looking school books. Maybe she is a few years older than me? I don't know. I've watched her grow up. I started taking the bus to school in grade eight. I graduate this year. She was already on the bus when I got on it for the first time. She was sitting across from me, wearing a light pink dress with orange flowers. Her legs were folded down and I could see her knees. Her head was turned so she could see out the window. She looked to me like she was searching for something out the window of that bus. Like she was on a scavenger hunt, only the thing she was looking for was so important that she would die if she didn't find it. She still wears that dress sometimes.

I feel as if looking at her every day has allowed me to get to know her. I know it's ridiculous. But I feel as if I already know what it would be like to kiss her, what her breasts would feel like as she pressed her chest against me and squeezed the sides of my head with her hands.

Maybe if I stare at her long enough she will jump up and kiss me right there on the bus, in front of everyone.

She is the one reliable person in my life. No matter what, every day I'm on the bus she is there too. I wonder if she noticed this also. But she hardly ever looks at me, and when she does it's only for a breif second. She looks out the window so very much.

I wonder what she would say if I told her I love her.